An Honest Review of My Cat

Snugly, affectionate calico. Serves companion needs, but struggles with personal boundaries.

✩✩✩ (3/5)

Review: This cat is playful and impressively clean with her litter box habits. She’s a snuggler, and her purring doubles as a makeshift massage tool. Bonus: she’s surprisingly respectful with her kneading pressure.

Her coat is a chaotic Kandinsky dream, suggesting she might be all the cat breeds at once. A true visual experience.

I gave her three stars because she treats me like transitional furniture. If I’m reading, working, or doing literally anything that doesn’t involve her, she will climb directly onto my face and deliver a blunt-force headbutt as a reminder that my priorities are trash.

Also, she puts her toys in her water dish and spreads kibble across the kitchen like a trail of breadcrumbs. I’m not really a fan of her jumping out of spaces, limbs spread like a flying squirrel, and body slamming my legs.